TLDR 2 big things I learnt today:
- Everyone’s on their own path in life, so don’t depend any of your decisions on anyone else
- Being happy for someone else is a beautiful feeling – take it all in!
Today was a roller coaster. Your girl started this morning at an all time low – a rock bottom, most would say. The tears wouldn’t stop rolling. I didn’t even wanna go into work, but I promised a friend I’d meet him, and I’m so grateful I went in. I remember my eyes feeling so dried and tired this morning, I just wanted to stay put. But I braved a face, went into the office after a couple weeks, and coworked and had lunch with that friend. It really cheered me up. Then I had a meeting with some other coworkers and she told me she’s pregnant! I don’t think I’ve been filled with so much joy for someone else before?! Is this what it feels like to genuinely be happy for someone?? I don’t know but I absolutely loved it. It was beautiful, seeing it come full circle for her.
Then after work, I went to a panel event, at my university, and it was great to share the space with new people. I loved it. And getting to see some old faces, was amazing, and let me just say, going back into campus is such a refreshing feeling as a graduate! It was nostalgic, but a beautiful feeling at the same time. I graduated, I made it??! Wow. Then someone told me that I speak “elloquently” – which absolutely made my day!! I wasn’t expecting it, and I thought I was rather candid, but I think random compliments like that really go a long way. And later that evening, I had a much overdue catch up with a friend I hadn’t seen in so long, and she told me she’s found a healthy best friend in a guy, and after what she’s been through, I was really really really happy for her. She’s such a genuine person and I would hate to see her in any other toxic fling. And she taught me alot about the value of reflecting and processing things that happen in my life to avoid a mental block. There are many mental blocks in different areas of my life right now, and I do want to get over them – and sometimes I feel like running away from them is the most simple answer. And while it might be, it won’t get me moving forward. And I don’t want to be stuck with the same schemas – I want to be able to adapt to newer experiences, so I genuinely want to spend time understanding where those schemas come from and how to change them. I only have one life, and I want to spend it growing! Point is, seeing her happy and in a good place, made my heart swell – and I’ve never felt this way before!
And then the last thing, another friend called me to tell me her roommate (that we went on a trip with) is married!! She’s 20!! Although it was a bit of a shock, I was so so so happy for her. I just wanted to know if she was happy, because that’s the only thing that matters, and knowing she is, and that she met the one, made me so so so happy! I love that for her. My heart swelled again.
The point of this being, I think sometimes in life, it’s not about comparing it to yours. If you’re at a low:
- Acquiesce where you are in this moment. Everything is transitory, and in this moment, all you can do is live presently, like a roman (Marcus Aurelius)
- Separate yourself from this other person and their journey. They’re not congruent, nor are they apples – so no comparison can be made.
- Bask in their joy – their joy is your joy by extension! It can be such a serotonin boost, try it sometime.