Today I found myself doing a couple questionable things:
- Someone cancelled on me, and I was rather delighted because I didn’t have the social battery today. And I genuinely wanted one day to myself. But then I instantly came home and told my roommate saying I don’t understand why people get upset if other people cancel plans. Now I think I was deflecting. I think that incident that occurred a couple weeks ago is something of a talking point more than a genuinely regretful instance…what was the motive there? What exactly was I trying to prove? I know that any other day that I have energy I would’ve been disappointed because I value my friends, but was I trying to show that I don’t get affected easily? That I’m so detached? Independent? Untouchable..? And I know for a fact that didn’t reflect my honest opinion…I was feeling rather zealous today. I was quite proud of myself for spending the day successfully (in my opinion) and accomplishing what I needed to. Maybe I was feeling overconfident?
- My roommate also told me she walked 10KM today and instead of genuinely being happy, I ran to my phone to check the number of KM I walked…(6.71KM)..but why did that even matter? She was telling me something she was proud of – my job was to be happy for her and be curious. It wasn’t about me. It was my role that mattered.
I watched the Shirley movie today on Shirly Chisholm, and she said a couple interesting things:
- You can’t conquer the world on an empty stomach
- Don’t accept things for the way they are
- Fight for yourself, fight for what you believe in
- Be part of the process by taking action (information is cheap, action is not)
- Stand up for yourself; speak your truth, your voice matters in EVERY situation
- Take up space
- Own it; it’s your right
I hope I get to examine myself more and think before speaking sometimes; I think I need to get better at speaking my truth authentically instead of representing myself as a stone cold person. That’s not who I am. I’m independent, but I value everyone in my life. I’m grateful for them, and they are my roots.
Also P.S. MA’AM STOP CONSUMING SO MUCH FIBRE!!! It’s making you so bloated…what if you experimented with less fibre this week? See what happens? (but u also just bought a shiz ton of fruits & veggies)…hmmm okay next week? regardless, we gotta watch our intake..