“Life is like riding a bike – to keep your balance, you need to keep moving”.
Albert Einstein
Today was a beautiful day! I woke up late, went to a friend’s birthday lunch, and read a ton. Also got some groceries (phew!). I’ve been thinking alot lately about moving – and everything that comes with it. The struggle of finding a place, finding a roommate, packing your belongings, unpacking, getting settled into a new place, making new friends, starting again. But also the newness, the freshness, the beginning of another chapter, another adventure, another chance to meet new people. Another chance to visit new places, and see new sights. They’re two sides of the same coin, and it is rather fascinating. It’s funny how sometimes I want to move so desperately, wanting to start afresh in a new town, yet at the same time, all I want to do is bask in my current scenery, delve deeper into my friendships and make the most of the quiet that surrounds me. It’s not a decision to be taken lightly, and one that often comes at odds with my forsaken advice “avoid using external directions to your own internal map”.
Giving others advice and direction is something I enjoy doing. I love to add value to others, and at the risk of sounding bullish, I found it quite easy. Unsolicited advice too, is something I love to give out, to those that matter to me. Why is it then, that I find it so hard to follow, absorb or embed some of that wisdom into my own life? I think we’ve all grown accustomed to the fact that we all are better advice givers than takers, but why is that? Is it because we have higher expectations of us? That there’s more at stake for us? I find that I have to tread lightly when it comes to my current life, as if my life is built upon little egg shells that I slowly, meagrely and gently take insignificant steps on. There are times when I feel like I’m making too big a change, taking too big a chance – that I won’t be able to cope. And then somehow, thanks to god and her blessings, I cope. I adopt. I end up thriving. I end up loving it. And that’s when I come to find merit in “Everything happens for a reason”.
Currently however, I’m feeling somewhat lost. I’ve been wanting to move since last May, and given the slow pace of everything here, there’s only fuel to be added to the slowly growing fire that, of course, is my impatience. And although I continue to see omens and somewhat signs (or maybe i’m simply more aware of them), pushing me in that direction, there’s nothing glaringly obvious, screaming “Sara you need to get out of here. Or you need to move.” It’s the people that make a town for me, and that only makes me question why I would want to leave it. But more than my desire for belonging, is my lifelong craving to explore. I want to see the world, live in different cities, meet new people and explore all that this world can offer. And while living in one city has enabled me to make connections I will never forget, I see merit in recreating that elsewhere. And yes, it is terrifying to up and move, restart in a city one has fondness from trips. Living is definitely a different story, but like albert einstein said “Life is like riding a bike – to keep your balance, you need to keep moving”. And, if it wasn’t glaringly obvious yet, I love to move. I love to be on the go. I love to get sh*t done, and have a change of scenery while I’m at it.
And before I leave, my friend said something to me that resonated “Journey before destination”. The best part isn’t the destination, it’s the process of getting there. So while there are a number of things to sort out, which can be terrifying, it’s also FUN!! If the skydiving taught me anything, it’s that I love the adrenaline – I’m here for that high. Maybe the unknown can have the same effect. The thrill that comes in package. The thrill might be the source of the fun. And it’s only when you’re having fun, that you’re fully present. And if sydney taught me anything, it’s that there’s a huge world out there. I’ve only seen a speck. Now as we turn a page in this thing we call life, it might be time to focus on all that’s to come, instead of what might be forgone.
P.S. I’m still processing. Still in the midst. Nothing finalized yet – apart from my desire for the new.