First I’d like to preface by saying I apologize from the bottom-est pit of my heart for missing yesterday’s blog. I honestly don’t know what came over me, I was working late finishing an Alteryx course and it completely slipped my mind!! But I’m here, we fall but we get up.
Today was an interesting day, I woke up this morning to the news that one of my coworkers left. I was working with him quite closely, so it was a shock that he just left out of the blue!! And then that just set something off in me. I had a talk with my counsellor, and he felt the same. I then spoke to a partner, and I finally got something to work on. So I was doing that, then went to my workout class, then to the cafe to grind it out. Then I took an hour break, and gotta head to the shower + do some more work. But it’s been interesting figuring it out. I also realized there’s some power in the cliched phrase “Just do it”.
So many times in my life, I’ve questioned my own decisions, my own intuitions, my own capabilities and my judgement. It’s like I don’t trust myself. Or maybe it’s that I don’t trust that I can handle anything that comes my way if I haven’t done it before. But I have to suck at something before I love it. Before I become better at it. I don’t have to be innately good anything if I have the work ethic to get there. I’ve been on the fence about a moving decision for a while now! And I’m just afraid to jump the gun because of the comfort here – and the newness there. But if I don’t do it now, when will I? And there are so many things that excite me about that world, and who’s standing in my way? Me. Before I even take the leap, my mind is bombarded with questions like “omg what if i hate it?” “who do I know there?” “what if I don’t know what I’m doing?”. All those things are plausible situations, but the only way I’ll find out is by doing it. Obviously nothing is confirmed, but I just noticed how much my self-doubt stands in the way of any progress.
Even with any new work, before I even give it a shot, all the anxiety and doubt in my head fills me to the brim. Sometimes, you really just have to do it. When I think to my past and scenarios where I’ve overcome that feeling, it’s solely been through action. Just doing it. Putting my all into it like there’s no other option. When I operate like there’s no other option, like I have nothing to lose, that’s when I win. I think that’s the way to go in a mind like mine!!
Moral of the long winded story: Soldier on like there’s no other way. Do it anyway, figure it out, step by step. AND DON’T GIVE UP! Keep going. If you really want it, it’ll happen.
