Today wasn’t a hot day. I stayed in most of the day, had a bare panel at work, and went into the comparison loop once again. I realize I have a tendency to check and recheck others, assuming a ton of things (like the fact that they’re developing and learning and I’m not), and then get frustrated. But once I left the house, I felt better. I finished a course, went to a workout class, and went to the grocery store (they didn’t have much of what I needed), but tomorrow will be a new day. I’ll be out of the house most of tomorrow and have some errands to run, and realize again, I need movement to keep on going. I cant stand and look around me. The only way I stay present in my reality is to keep on moving. Take action. Keep it going. The fight’s anything but far from over. I’m not gonna give up on me. I’m not going to feel sorry for me – I want what I have. I can only be resourceful and make the most of it.
I also realized that breaking my problems down and writing them down reallly helps to get out of my head. I also wrote some goals for myself, and time for ruminating is up. Time to snap out of the victim mindset. Time to start focusing on me! How do I want to use this time? How will I take charge? How will I figure it out? This is a new challenge, and I’m up for it. I’m in it for me. For good. Stay here.
