Navigating life's labyrinth one dive at a time.




I’m Excited!

Full disclosure here. I started my full time job in consulting back in September 2023 – and to say it was not was I expected is an understatement. Don’t get me wrong, the people I’ve met and the new experiences I’ve had have been amazing!! Here are some of my highlights:

  1. Went to NYC for training & made some really cool friends: Such a new and fun experience! Also got to hangout out with my cousins for the first time
  2. Went to an all company wide summit in Toronto: This was an amazing experience, where I got to connect with other team members across different cities. I think you always bond with people better on a trip!
  3. Shadowed 2 projects: I shadowed 1 carve-out workstream and 1 go to market due dilligence. There was a steep learning curve in both, and I genuinely felt like I have so much to learn. I got a little burnt out in the latter, but I do feel like there’s a lot of room for improvement.

However, I’ve been feeling a little less than satisfied. I do attribute that to my expectations. Going into the job, I thought I’d be working late nights, meeting a ton of people, having a lot of meetings and face to face interactions. But it’s been on the contrary – and that’s not a bad thing. A slow start isn’t necessarily a bad start, but because I had this preconceived notion in my head, it was a bit hard to not feel disappointed. I think in the last project, I felt like I was making so many mistakes and not double checking my work – something I think I’ve had to work on for a while, but I haven’t because I’m a rusher. But it’s important to take a step at a time – there’s really no need to rush. I also think I’ve been comparing myself a ton to other people in my cohort, which isn’t the point. It’s fascinating how much b-school drills this in your head – that you have to compete with your peers, that there’s no collaboration. But that can’t be further from the truth. Your cohort is there to be friends with! To get out of your head and know that you’re not alone.

After constantly making mistakes and having people correct my work, I no longer felt empowered or as if I could do anything on my own. With my confidence at an all time low, I felt hopeless on continuing. But I took a life-changing trip to Sydney with my family over the break. I learnt that there’s so much more to life than work – and if I’m looking for meaning (which I know i am), I won’t find it work – at least not in this work. I had quite a few epiphanies on this trip:

  1. I really want to work for myself!
  2. I would love to start blogging lol
  3. I want to live for life changing experiences! Not being stuck on a computer all day (I went skydiving and absolutely loved it!)
  4. I know my “why” for this job – to learn as many skills as possible, build my network and keep an open mind. If there’s nothing to do, there’s no use in sulking – I can work on myself. Like building this website out, like learning to code, like finding joy in the little things.
  5. The best people in life are free! My friends & family give me meaning, and I don’t need to confound myself constantly – no problem is not a problem.

I’ve realized, the minute I focus on me. On what I’m doing, on who I can be, on what I want to do – I feel like the world is my oyster. But when I look elsewhere, what other people are doing, I’m lost. I’m gone. All that joy and light dissipates. But life is too short to live someone else’s reality. Remember, what’s yours will find you. And my journey won’t look like anyone else’s – a fact I’m grateful for. I’m here for all its nooks and crannies and embrace everything life throws at me. I can figure it out.

the sydney bridge – imma do the bridge walk someday! mark my words – 13.01.2024

Man I love letting my creative juices flow – is this what freedom feels like? What flow feels like?

Now I’m feeling excited. Inspired. Veracious for a bigger world. Empowered to create my own reality. I can do this. I will do this. I want to do this. Not for anyone else, but me. I’m putting myself first for real this time.

I’m here for all its nooks and crannies and embrace everything life throws at me. I can figure it out.